Found

Today God found me a mess- he always find me. He has been placing His hand on an area of my heart that I have held with the same understanding of my whole life and He is changing my theology…. not my theology necessarily, but how I see Him and who He actually is versus […]

Triggered

It comes out of no where. At first it’s faint like a hint of a familiar scent on the breeze, tugging at the edges of my blurry memory. Then suddenly it magnifies, overwhelming all of my senses, his hands wandering, trespassing, violating. I freeze, I’m a professional- I’m working, I can’t be thinking about that […]

Cry

God I want to be free. Give me liberty, give me life and hope and love and truth. Let me breathe again. Let my heart beat once more. Let songs cascade from my heart past my lips to fill the atmosphere around me with worship. Let me be lost in your embrace. Surrendered to your […]

Let’s go

Sometimes it feels like I’m falling- falling asleep- falling deeper into the depths- drowning but not wanting to wake up not wanting to recover. I’ve lost so much ground in this battle- there’s been so much compromise. Sometimes I just give up and give in I close my eyes and then the true torment begins. […]

Demons

They choke me and tempt me. They torment and harass. Their whispers are a cacophony to my ears and the tinnitus drives me to insanity. They push me past the edge of the cliff and I fall far far far. They tell me that I’m too far gone that He can’t hear me, that He […]

Heart over Brain

“I fall down upon the ground and press my face against the earth, until my heart it rises over my head…” These are the opening lyrics to Johnathon David and Melissa Helser’s song Find Me and it has been ringing in my heart through this season. Especially that last phrase, “until my heart rises over […]